Why Late-Blooming Moms Feel Lost
This is me. Well, it was me…three years ago. Holy bonkers, and yes, wow. Time has flown since having my second child. I birthed her in 2024, two and a quarter years after my first, and ever since time has been evading me. Whatever time is anymore, anyway.
I’m a late-blooming mom, as they call us, having had my first at 37 years of age, and my second at 39. And yes, I’m still considering having one, maybe two more. That thought would have floored me years ago, but here I am pondering it all.
I’m at a precipice in parenthood, and my life, really, where I feel like I don’t recognize myself…like, at all. I look at this photo and I feel a longing for the woman I once was, even though at that point in my life I had just come off the heels of major depletion.
Still, I long for her. Why? Because she was thinner and younger (totally shallow, yes I know), life was more simple, and she hadn’t yet hit her peak “dark night of the soul” years.
When things get hard, or we disappear for a while, I think we find it easy to finally look in the mirror long enough one day to ask the questions, “Where did the time go? Who am I anymore?”. And reply with, “Ugh, I don’t recognize you. How quickly can I get back to being me again?”
You may have become a mom on paper as soon as your baby came out, but to know the role and to embody it are two completely different things.
It couldn’t be more big and you are not alone. You belong to a world-wide fabric of women connected womb-to-womb, each the sun of their own family beaming with love, care, attention, energy, and life. Without you, without us all, what would our world be? And in today’s world I have to ask myself, are we truly living up to our potential?
Women all around the world are recognizing this as a potent time to power shift, to shed layers of what didn’t work for so long, and to take back what has become lost and muddled - ownership, leadership, pride, the village - and applying it in a new way to get the most out of their experience as a mom in today’s ultra-modern, impersonal, super sensitive world.
Change like this takes work. And on top of learning how to mother? Forget it! Right? You’re already exhausted just thinking about it.
Yes, stepping in is hard. Sometimes too hard. I’ll be the first to say it. Even without the aspect of personal growth, parenting by itself can be very tough. But, why? I mean, it’s not like you’re pushing 40, taking on the role of Mother at a time when your parents are sitting somewhere between comfortable retirement and literal expiration. And your overstimulated life doused with constant noise, questions, and things to do couldn’t be the problem, could it?
Okay, I’m not here to scare you or help you embrace a victim mindset. I’m here to help you see exactly where you are - your needs, challenges, and ultimate possibilities that exist within your current lived experience - so you can latch on to that which you’re grateful for and to witness just how much more amazing life is when it feels right. Pick your battles and what exactly you want to up-level within yourself one small step at a time. All it takes is for you to wholeheartedly accept the challenge and say “yes” to this transformational experience inside Matrescence. Your initiation awaits. It’s time to stop straddling the threshold, let go of the hold you have on the life you once knew, and answer the call.
Right now you may be asking who you are anymore, what in the heck you’re doing, and how on earth things could possibly change for the better.
If you’re like me, having children at a later stage brings its own set of challenges that you didn’t even see coming. You’re carrying the weight of your family below and above you. Your body just doesn’t regenerate as quickly as it used to and you’re finding it harder to feel like you can handle rearing little ones. You just realized you may only experience so much of your children’s lives before you disappear. And you wonder that if you haven’t learned to become a good enough human by now - whether that shows up in your parenting, your partnership, or your relationship to yourself - how much longer will it take for you to grow to a place where you’ll have a positive lasting impact on your children?
You may not resonate with everything I’m throwing out - I wouldn’t expect you to. What you heard before was my story, my lived experience. I’ve just come to know it as a more common one.
The shift into motherhood is invisible. At the same time it’s like opening a wound in the most raw sense possible. Because of this, the shift isn’t always welcome. I know you feel it. It’s why you hit play on this episode in the first place.
So, I know there’s a part of you that says, “I can’t live like this forever. There has to be an easier way. But, how am I supposed to parent them properly when I can’t even take care of myself? I need to find a way.”
Even if the smallest part of you resonates with those thoughts, this place is for you. Because if you don’t go into that wound now, your children will - very cutely and kindly, of course - rip it open for you again and again. They’re there to show you what they need you to heal in order for you all to be happy.
I’m here to share my story so you don’t feel alone. So you can hear from myself and other moms and professionals who can help you understand what you’re going through and why it may be more challenging for you than you’d like or expect, and how to flip that.
I won’t tell you what to do every step of the way, but I will guide you toward finding what helps you transform while shifting your perspective in big ways, allowing you to take leaps and bounds into the footing you’re being called to follow. If you haven’t seen it already, I’m here to show you the real beauty in the position of Mother. That the risk is worth the reward, in droves! That you will get get it wrong many times, and that that is the magic. That if you don’t want to feel like you’re playing catch up, barely staying afloat, and running around like a chicken with your head cut off for 18 years before your children leave home, all while your physical, mental, and emotional states erode, then this is the perfect time to embrace all the yucky parts of yourself, thank them for their time, and say farewell in sight of a new, magnificent, metamorphic experience for you and your family.
Parenting can be easier than they say. Over time, things will click. Life will slowly become more effortless and not just because you’re used to doing it, but because you’ve effectively shaped how you move through life to match your values, your needs, and the energy you wish to set for your family. Here, you will transcend in ways you never thought possible, bridging the gap between what you know is possible and what you can't quite reach. And it doesn’t take much, just a willingness to see your potential, identify the type of life you wish to live, and create community where you didn’t think one existed.
Motherhood is no joke. It’s the biggest period of a woman’s life and my heart tells me it’s also the most impactful one. Why else would it be so long? If you want to ensure a light, loving, and confident season of life from which you are proud to leave a legacy, then follow me as I walk my own path to self-discovery. We’ll do this together. Because we, too, need each other. And the more we grow together, the more synergistic the effects will be.
I’m so happy that you joined me today. Congratulations on becoming a mother, you definitely deserve it and I can’t wait for you to see what your life beholds once you say yes to Matrescence.
