When shit hits the fan.

I gotta tell you, little one, the Universe is testing me today. I’m ready to throw something against the wall!

No, it has nothing to do with you or your sister. The sweetness of the charisma you both carry keep me from losing it.

So many emotions and feelings and thoughts and intelligent implantations have come about today. It’s been a heavy and enlightening day today. A beautiful one still.

I know that my impatience and complete boredom with dimwittedness comes at a time when I’m entering the final phase of my soul’s preparedness for this labour process. I have no patience left. I’m craving your presence and I know your grand entrance is nearing.

I strongly believe your sister knows you’re coming soon. She can sense your nearness and that hers and my connection will be split in two in a way. It breaks my heart a little, but no part of me is scared that our dynamic will automatically be enhanced by having you in our midst. It’s a magic we’ll be fortunate to behold.

All the emotions are moving through me today and I’m trying to be as honest and open as I can with your father, but I swear it’s like trying to turn a brick wall into a waterfall. I’m exhausted from trying to be seen and heard, making known the importance and immensity of the here and now. It’s no longer my place to make him understand.

Like most instances where my patience is waining and my irritability is through the roof, I still carry a great deal of appreciation for what’s happening. I’m also enhancing the way in which I speak to myself to bring about gratitude in everything I do. I went for a walk with your sister today with her stroller - our first in months - and my legs were in agony by the end of it, but I loved being outside in the cold fresh air, walking. It’s what I love to do.

Every day has its ups and downs. Every moment has the ability to be equally as challenging and wonderful. Today I’ve chosen to live a little in the former, but know I am bringing you in with a positive light.